Movies in the Buff

Listen to the Team of Debauchery take on the worst movie they’ve seen since the fabled SPANISH ZOMBIE PORN. Join us on a trip through what happens when Rod forces us to watch a movie with no redeeming qualities.

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Heath Ledger and the cast of Pirates of the Caribbean team up to do Robin Hood as a western. The result is a fairly accurate based on a true story historical period piece that Skullie hates.

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Reviewing a movie whose working title was Inconvenience means the team spends a lot of time on sidetracks talking about our own menial jobs. Skullie goes on a blowjob rant, Rod delves into necrophilia, and the whole crew is forced to pull him out. Just another normal episode of Movies in the Buff as we review Clerks, by our second favorite nerd director, Kevin Smith.

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Carl wants to slaughter the crew, Rod can’t stop trying to pluck eyebrows, Lisa can’t follow the plot, and Skullie’s off to visit P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way Sidney.

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What’s wrong with podcasting? Nothing’s wrong with it. That’s good, honest work, that’s someone’s ear holes we’re filling. It’s not like we’re doing complex mathematics, organic chemistry, or psychotherapy. But somehow we all seem to have problems just as big as Will’s, I HATE them apples.

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Rod’s not here to get himself in trouble, but Carl certainly doesn’t hold back. Which is ok cause Lisa doesn’t either. all her talk of saving horses. Our conversations verge on inappropriate underage sex. Hey, we gotta come up with something more inappropriate than an episode 69 joke. While Chloe Mortez plays a 13 year old runaway who gets caught up with a psychotic former rodeo rider and a drug addicted grifter, her life quickly spirals downward to places that are just plain illegal in any of these 50 states. But this is a feel good drama so she gets to move to LA in the end and live happily ever after, so that makes all of it OK.

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Join us for a tale that is taller than Matthew McGrory, freakier than Steve Buscemi, crazier that Helena Bonham Carter, and more beautiful than Marion Cotillard. Big Fish will leave your heart with a feeling that is fuzzier than Danny Devito on a full moon.

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As Ben Affleck says, “You gotta do the safe picture. Then you can do the art picture. But then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture because your friend says you owe him.” Kurt, J.T. I don’t care what Jonathon Mostow did for you, you didn’t owe him this much.

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Talk, talk, boobs, talk, talk, talk, boobs, some balls joke, drugs, and then more talking… oh yea, boobs.

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Join us for an alcoholic coma inducing round of the MiTB Drinking Game and the most outrageous true story this side of Ripley’s. This show is so awesome Skype couldn’t handle it. Hey Skype, knock, knock.

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We bring together an all-star cast and try to hold it together with Elijah wood who’s way too young, and Tia Leoni who’s acting is so bad that at the end of the night even her husband doesn’t believe it. In short: Armageddon did it better.

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We see the zombies from their own point of view and see how they handle all those day-to-day problems, like gun toting soldiers, hunger, and ED: erectile dismemberment.

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I need a tagline. And a plot that isn’t so wandering. And answers to the questions you raise. It’s really pretty though.

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In the midst of the buildup to World War 2, Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush work out the differences between an Australian commoner and a British Royal with a speech impediment while Helena Bonham Carter practices being not crazy.

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Possibly the worst movie we’ve ever reviewed. This movie stars no one you’ve ever heard of, other than that one black guy from MASH, and sounds like William Shatner was the dialogue coach for the entire cast. But hey, this is what you get when we get no audience feedback.

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Teenage girls to crazy inappropriate shit, and THEN they flip the fuck out. Rod Triple Dog dares you to watch this movie.

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Helena Carter is suicidal, Brad Pitt is a voice in my head, Ed Norton is insane, and B4TankGirl plays the drinking game. I’m am Jack’s Awesome Movie Podcast.

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Tonight we discuss Matt & Trey’s musical attack on censorship, bad parenting, war, the apocalypse, and Saddam Hussein. We also answer the greatest question of all. What would Brian Boytano do? He’d kill Kenny, that bastard, but then he’d listen to this episode!

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Rod can’t get it, Lisa can’t keep up with it, Skullie can’t defend it enough, and Carl can’t stay awake.

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Ron Pearlman stars in a pulp fiction, Cuthulu-driven tentacle porn.

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Malcolm Reynolds and Doogie Howser battle to the death for Felisha Day’s heart…and other important body parts. Join us as we discuss Joss Whedon’s first Emmy-award winning production.

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This movie will teach you how to play poker and the kinds of childhood friends you don’t need to hold on to. Seriously, who here hasn’t had a friend like this that you had to kick to the curb? I sincerely hope you did it before he fucked you over as much as Worm did Mike. He’s such a bad friend, I’m going to go back three episodes and just say No more Oreo’s for That man!

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John McClain, Severus Snape, Carl Winslow, and the Vice Principal from Breakfast Club get together to create a Christmas movie and they came up with this shoot-em-up, blow it up, terrorism-based cop movie that would become a franchise. There is so much death destruction and mayhem in this film that we really expected the movie to end with Steve Urkel leaning in from  out of frame saying “Did I do that?”

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Despite what Skullie and Lisa wish, XXX is the TITLE, and not the rating for this neo-Bond action flick. This movies is full of stunts with (and in) sleek sexy hardbodies, but enough about the cars, seriously if you’re drooling over the cars in this movie, I feel sorry for you, cause you’re ignoring all the half-naked sluts (including Vin Diesel).

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So this is what we’re trying to feed the American public as cutting-edge medical science? John Travolta attempts to play Nick Cage, and vice-versa, Mrs Frederick is a flaming moron, and the closest we come to nudity is a 17yr old girl in her panties. No more drugs for John Woo!

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It’s the summer 1979 and Coach Taylor is bad at parenting, but he’s got his hands full cause E.T.’s dad just escaped from the Air Force and is turning toasters into Legos in between snacking on townspeople, and it’s up to four pre-teen zombie movie makers to save the day.

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John McClain and Bilbo Baggins are so bad at science that they mistake Milla Jovovich for the element Boron and try to save the world from Commissioner Gordon and a moon.

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So this slimy sadistic bastard convinced my wife to shoot me in the back and steal my money, so I’m going to ask his employers to reimburse me. The only problem is that trying to cut through their red tape is pretty painful. Sooner or later though, I’ll get my 250…140…err 130…no wait, it’s only $70,000!

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Back to remind us once again why you should never hide from your kids the fact that they are adopted, Loki’s stolen the ultimate Duracell, and it’s up to Sammy J to scrape together a response team. What are the trickster’s plans? Well they involve hitting New York harder than a lost hurricane.

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For our first Halloween episode we thought we’d review the scariest thing we could think of, but since Rod’s ex isn’t currently streaming on Netflix, we decided to watch this crap instead. Drink!

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Steve Rodgers is scrawny, Tommy Lee Jones is Tommy Lee Jones, yes Mr. Anderson, I HAVE become the Red Skull, and chick if you touch Captain America’s bare chest you’re gonna cream yourself in the middle of this lab.

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This week we learned that you can’t make an omelet without making your kids run around a mountain, you can make Rose McGowan ugly, and you can’t depend on really good acting to save a badly written film.

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If you’ve ever grudge fucked a purple elephant or stuck your eye up to a glory hole then you know that you’re too big to fit into The Sweetest Thing in the Buff.

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You’re gonna go to jail for libel, but before you do I want you to team up with this man-hating, borderline sociopath hacker chick on probation and solve the 40-year old mystery of my niece’s disappearance. Try to keep the BDSM to a minimum.

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We’ve all seen what can happen when you mix a good premise with bad acting and cheesy effects. Now we get a good look at what happens when you reverse that recipe. It’s not an improvement.

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LaBeouf trades up for a British model, Bay attempts to rewrite history for no reason in particular, Spock loses his shit, and we have a ball arguing about the quality of it all.

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Chris Hemsworth is buff enough for Lisa, not IN the buff enough for Skullie, and Rod and Carl share our opinions on the quality of this Marvel Superhero origin story.

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Did you ever hear the story about the mute and the married woman? The moral is, be careful when eating Italian or you’ll get your eye put out.

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Things get pretty hairy for both the actors and our hosts as we attempt to delve deeply into this quirky British comedy of errors.

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This is what Training Day would have been if it was made in the 80′s, except this movie was made in the 90′s. How does that work? Who cares, this movie will blow your brains out…or make you want to.

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Momma why can’t I grow the fuck up, get out of my fetal waterbed, stop showing my naked black ass, and stop being a dumbass? Please stop doing the Old Nigga Squat Fuck and answer me!

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Rod’s clumsiness means that Carl must now defend this 90′s seduction fest against two women hurling well founded accusations of Softcore Pornage and guilty sexual frustration.

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Join the Team of Debauchery as we discuss the result of Jim Henson’s Acid-laced Absinthe bender.

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Martin Sheen can’t fly
Markey Mark can’t be nice
Money can’t buy DiCaprio
But hey, Mulligan’s in a band!

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I had a dream where I chased Kate Winslet around a disappearing city as she was being pursued by a creepy hobbit and Kirsten Dunst jumped on my bed in her underwear. I had a dream! What was it about again?

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Why didn’t MY High School have an underage prostitution ring lead by an OCD junior and her smoking hot, bad ass enforcer? Probably cause I couldn’t afford them.

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An epic story of flaming wood, right-angled members, and bandana shirts. Don’t miss Tony Hawk’s indie 360.

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“Waiter, there doesn’t appear to be any science in our SciFi.” “It takes too long to mix the two well, so we just wiped the glass with a science-dirty rag before we poured the fiction. Isn’t it marvelously pretty though?”

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Dawson’s Creek kid is the soul mate of Fast & The Furious Fed, who’s the son of Coach, who’s the soul mate of CSI dude, how much farther til we hit Kevin Bacon?

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